Who Am I?

    If I had to describe my online identities, I'd say . . . cheesy. They betray my nerdiness and fangirl side that I keep on a tight leash in the "real" world. I am not ashamed to be a fangirl or a nerd in real life, but it's a little awkward, especially when you're old enough to vote and start a career. Online, I can let the feels and obsessive, seemingly irrelevant, and unhelpful knowledge, loose. Nobody judges me for having a Tolkienistic creature in my username; everyone else has something to do with TV shows, books, or comics, especially on Tumblr and Twitter.

    But what do these usernames and accounts say about me? Overall, I think they say I love books, fictional characters, and TV shows. I think they say I spend a lot of time, effort, and money on the fandoms I am a part of. To other nerds, my username is a neon sign just begging for someone to come over and obsess with me over whatever book or TV show our accounts relate to. A username will definitely direct you to people with similar usernames, and others to you. Employers may not think the same, however. As I said before, I do not think any employers' will be offended by my online identities, so much as they might just be amused before tossing my application on the rejection pile. I might come across as immature or shallow. I don't feel like I am any of those things, and certain employers may be charmed by and looking for book nerds like me, but you can never know what someone is thinking--especially when him or her is searching for potential employees.

    Then, there is the question of professional usernames. For example, I didn't want my Twitter handle or business email account to be something immature-- I've gotten the lectures as I'm sure everyone else has in freshman college classes about emails like SexyFarmGirl@yahoo.com or Chicksloveme@hotmail.com sent to professors. But Twitter? I didn't really want my full name as my handle as it's my identification on Facebook. It seemed somehow insecure-- and terribly dull. So, I chose a mix of last name and first initial. Yeah . . . not so creative or clever. It seemed to be a safe medium though, a mix of my carefreeness and "professionalism".

    Whenever I am faced with the task of creating a username, I get excited and nervous. I want to sound cool and witty (teenage insecurities have yet to go away), but also sophisticated. Cool and sophisticated do not always wed, like religious grandmothers and cussing. Usually, when I finally come up with a username, I am ridiculously proud. Like, I-am-too-cool-for-this-world proud. Thankfully, this lasts for only a couple of days. After that, I either ignore it or wrinkle my nose in disgust at it.

    After the username is made, there is then the question of what I should and should not put on my account. Let's face it: there are lines that we all have thought about crossing. We saw someone else do it before us and get busted, and we made the sign of the cross in thanks that it wasn't us who was the voluntary guinea pig. Some things there is no question about what to post, such as racial or sexist slurs (though some people have not gotten the memo), while other things are blurry, such as an article you tweet that has cussing sprinkled throughout. Do employers care if you read stuff like that? I'm not a parrot: I don't repeat anything and everything I read.

    The big question is, as was posed in my class, if I will change any of my identities. I will be graduating not too long from now, and that means employers perusing my online presence. Scary thought, even if you have never had anything controversial or possibly controversial on your account.

    I'm not sure what I'm going to do regarding my personal accounts, but I know that from now on I'll be doing a lot more serious thinking about my usernames instead of just choosing what will sound fun.

To Follow or Not to Follow

I just recently got a Twitter account. It was a personal choice to not have one until this summer; I did not get it for my digital writing class. I mainly got it because there is a huge and awesome bookish community. My favorite authors, book podcasters and nerds are on Twitter. I was beginning to feel left out, and considering my dream is to work in publishing some day, I figured having an online presence on a social media that is the new Facebook would benefit me.

    So I made a Twitter account. One with a name I can't decide if I still like. I had been on Twitter for one day and had only favorited a couple of things-- I wasn't yet brave enough to post a tweet--and saw, to my astonishment and pleasure, that two people had already followed me. After the initial surprise and sentiment of "people like me!" passed, and after I had followed my first followers, I couldn't help but think that it was a little weird to follow someone who hadn't tweeted a word. I wasn't creeped out by my followers, I was simply baffled. I forgot about it quickly, though. I began to tweet, found out how easy it was, and basically became an expert overnight.

    Or so I thought.

   From what I had heard and experienced on Pinterest and Goodreads, if you follow someone, they will follow you back. That proved true for Twitter (except in cases of authors, who I didn't expect to follow me), too. I was fine with it, happy even. If I commented on a witty post and followed a fellow tweeter, I'd have a new follower. It was all going smashingly until the day I scrolled through my feed and saw that one of my followers/followed had posted some rather mature images. I've seen mature and graphic pictures before; I'm in college for goodness sake and a good chunk of my life is spent on the Internet. But I do not seek out images of half-naked people displaying their genitalia to the world. Definitely a nope for me.

   I had no idea the tweeter would post something like that. The handle was something about baking and cakes, and all of the pictures before the startling ones were of incredible cakes and sweets she had made. So, yes, I was definitely shocked--and a little panicked. I had classmates who had just begun to follow me and one of my professors was following me for a class. Not to mention I hoped to someday get publisher professionals to take notice of me. I, under no circumstances, wanted mature images my mother would be scarred by on my feed.

   Thus came the decision that prompted this post: I unfollowed the tweeter. She quit following me. I felt bad, even though no one was hurt. I doubt I ever pass through the tweeter's mind. Still, it got me thinking.  Do I have to follow everyone who follows me? If a new follower who I, in turn, follow out of courtesy posts something I do not like or want on my feed, can I unfollow them? What if one of the offenders is a friend? What if I post something that angers or hurts a friend unintentionally? That is the question that worries me the most. It is all fine and well to flippantly follow and unfollow a complete stranger who you will never meet in real life; it is an entirely different beast when friends and family come into the picture.

    I've been avoiding attempts to answer this by sidestepping the issue altogether. Meaning, I have not told any of my friends or family I am on Twitter. It sounds cowardly even to my own ears. Still, I know if I tell my friends I am on Twitter, they will follow me, because we're friends and that's what friends do. The last thing I want and I'm sure nobody else does is to have a relationship ruined because of social media. I'm positive it has happened, I just do not want it to happen to me.

    Tell me what you think about connecting with friends over social media and if you've ever had qualms about unfollowing someone on Twitter, Facebook, or Tumblr. Thank you for reading!

Write On

    I write all the time. As an English major, that isn't a surprise, but I write for myself, too. Even before I made the decision to write more seriously (to learn the craft), I wrote. Homework mostly, and in notebooks. I don't remember printing out an essay until middle school. When I first stared using computers in early middle school, it was mainly for silly games. Writing an essay on the computer was something I had to learn and do, not something I actively sought. I used the Internet some, but it was dial-up, and there is nothing more infuriating to an eleven year old than waiting ten minutes or more for a website to load.
    When the website finally did load, I browsed websites that were entirely and only about horses. I was a horse nut. I could only take a riding lesson once a week, and since I was stereotypically obsessed with all things equine, it was not enough. To satiate my thirst for everything horse, I looked up whatever I could about them on the Internet. While all my friends had Myspace accounts and had the latest gossip over IM, I didn't even dare go to the website since my parents told me it was dangerous. I never commented on articles, made accounts, or posted any sort of writing.
    Even when high school rolled around and I was an arrogant, loud, and overall nuisance as most freshmen are, I was extremely careful about what I put online. I got a Facebook account, a huge step for myself and my parents, who seemed convinced that I would be sucked into Hell through the homepage. It was such a huge step, in fact, I put a photo of my horse as my account picture instead of my face. The paranoia was very real.
    I became more confident, of course, seeing that I am quite active on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, Goodreads, Youtube, and Wattpad. The only days I did not turn on my laptop this summer were during vacation, when family time was a requirement instead of a choice.
    I am not a huge voice on any social media, but I would like to be, especially in the huge online book community. I've wanted a blog all summer; I persuaded myself I didn't have time for one-- while I was numbly searching on Pinterest. The real reason was that I was-- and still am-- worried about making a mistake, revealing too much, or offending someone. It was one of my greatest nightmares in high school to get threats online or have the entire school body hate me because I forgot myself and ranted about the injustices of high school. The Internet is wonderful, but it'd be ignorant to say it was safe. It's not. The stories about kids killing themselves because of cyberbullying, online harassments that came to fruition off the Internet, and hacking provide substantial evidence that if you are online, you'd better think long and hard about what you're revealing on it and what you're willing to take from other people on it.
    That being said, I think I know what I want to write online. I think I know what will be just enough and what will be too little or too much. I'm not going to bare my soul, but I'm not going to hide from opportunities. I'm going to make mistakes, I accept that. I hope to God I don't make a huge mistake that will land me in online failure history. Even so, writing online is too large of my life to be a frightened mouse. I know I can't spend more than a couple days off the Internet, and I won't try to change that. So, I'll just write on. Whether it be a book review on Goodreads, a Tweet, a poem on Wattpad, or a comment on Facebook, I'll write on.